I think it's easy to make things more complicated than they need to be. Here are some basic rules of the relationship road that will keep you headed in the right direction
1. Successful relationships take work.
They don't happen in a vacuum. They occur when the couples in them take
the risk of sharing what it is that's going on in their hearts and
2. You can only change yourself, not your partner.
If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter
behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put
them on the table. so your partner knows what you need.
3. All arguments stem from our own fear or pain.
When upset occurs, check out what's going on inside of you rather than
get angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren't upset for
the reasons we think we are.
4. Understand that men and women are very different. We're not from Mars or Venus; we're not even in the same solar system. Understanding and celebrating our differences will make living together more peaceful, interesting, and fun.
5. Honor each other in some way every day. Every
morning you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and
deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by
the one you love makes life much nicer.
6. Anger is a waste of time.
Anger is also a relationship killer, because it makes you self-absorbed
and won't allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate,
give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what's
going on for you.
7. Get regular tune-ups.
Go to a couples workshop, talk with a counselor, or read a relationship
book together at least once a year. Even if you don't think you need it,
you will pick up a couple of ideas, and the process alone will
strengthen your connection.
8. Find a way to become and stay best friends. For some this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it's the best part of their time together.
9. Be responsible for your own happiness.
No other person can make you happy. It's something you have to do on
your own. If you feel it's your partner's fault, think again, and look
within to find out what piece may be missing for you.
10. Give what you want to get.
Our needs change with time. If you'd like to feel understood, try being
more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more.
It's a simple program that really works.
There are no guarantees,
but couples who practice these techniques have longer and stronger
relationships than those who are not proactive in their love.